Get People to Care for Others in Your Community (Without Telling Them To)
What yoga mats can teach us about community, a short guide (metaphor) on community stewardship. Or we can call it "Behavior design for shared experiences: the quiet power of leading by example".
Ever been to a crowded yoga room?
Coming out of a recent class, I reckon people’s behavior falls into three buckets:
1️⃣ Those who preemptively make space for others;
2️⃣ Those who improvise, making space once it’s needed;
3️⃣ Those who won’t bother, as long as they’re comfortable.
Let’s break it down:
1️⃣ In the first group are those who, no matter how early they arrive, picture a full room and place their mats at a comfortable distance to fit others.
The second and third groups tend to place their mats wherever they land. But once newcomers arrive and need space, these groups diverge:
2️⃣ The second group scurries to move forward, backward, or sideways—often following the first group’s lead.
3️⃣ The third group remains unmoved, their mat floating like a random island amidst a row of quasi-symmetrically aligned mats.
Most gatherings are made of all three groups (with 1 + 2 prevailing in great communities, and 3... at airports and subways 🫠).
Communities are no different. And our job as community builders is to influence behavior so members care for each other and act as stewards of the space—to literally or figuratively make space for others.
I used to be angry at the unbothered. But I’ve learned that anger tends to incite temporary change through shame, not the kind of learning that sticks.
While group three often prevents communities from growing (by creating suboptimal experiences for others), they’re not necessarily bad people—they’re often just oblivious. Some of us don’t pick this up at home, in life, or at school.
Over time, I’ve realized that these people can grow, if they’re in a room filled with good examples. That said, I’ve also learned I can’t be the one controlling everyone, asking them to move or stay in line. Even floor stickers won’t help. Group three will often remain oblivious—until they’re inspired.
So, your job is to empower group one to lead by example. Then gently nudge more people upwards from group two—and maybe, just maybe, spark something in group three. That’s how you cultivate an abundance mindset, one of the three pillars of community I write about in Hacking Communities.
Bottom line?
A room full of people who won’t bother isn’t a community—and might soon become a bad business (because new users’ experience depends on others’ willingness to make space).
Even if the folks who consistently make space represent less than 10% of your community, that may be enough to influence the 40% who are willing, but need a reason. Eventually, the remaining 50% will follow.
The more people who make space for others, the more comfortably your community grows.
One mat at a time.
PS: If you're curious about the business mechanics behind this, check out my article Maximizing User Contribution: Let Them Do the Job—it’s about turning your people from consumers into self-motivated value creators.
It’s really the same concept.
In the context of a yoga room, having enough (comfortable) space is sine qua non for a great experience. But what behaviors can your users adopt to ensure better experiences for others? And how do you encourage that?
There’s a whole new chapter we could explore—on how to empower the ones who care (your top contributors) through things like advocacy, ambassadorship, and community rituals.
Let’s talk about what that could look like for your business or community. HMU :)